Four Ways to Make Football Bearable for Women

My life, as we know it, is officially over…or on hiatus at least. Football has taken over the TV, DVR, computer…not to mention my weekends. Several years ago, I had begun to accept football in my life, when it could be limited to pot luck parties and a few select games here and there. But the advent of fantasy leagues has since unleashed a monster. I still don’t understand how a man so frugal, he buys see-through toilet paper, can shell out a several Benjamins a year for buy-ins and trades left and right. I also don’t enjoy the screaming tantrums from the drunk die-hards at the bar, not to mention THE WORST!!!….that girl who thinks she’s better than every other girl in the room, just because she follows sports (don’t get me wrong- there’s no shame in loving sports….but self-righteousness is SOOO not attractive. Everyone HATES “that girl”- and not in a good way).

Football Like a Girl

This year, I refuse to crumble in defeat. Instead, I am turning to the old mantra, “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” No, I do NOT mean painting my face red and black (Arizona Cardinals), or even being a bitch to all girls in heels. I have simply decided to turn lemons into lemonade (literally, see below) and try and have a little fun myself by creating a Fab Housewife’s Survival Guide to Football Season:

1) Start a league of your own:

Praise Lord for Aunt Vicky! This year, she decided to start a fantasy football league everyone can get in on. Different from J.P.’s high-intensity leagues (which come complete with team names like “Rings Around Uranus” and “The Red Rockets”…boys will be boys), this sort of league has a simple scoring system, and doesn’t deal with intimidating drafts- teams are randomly assigned at the beginning, then you add, drop, and trade as much as you’d like. Our league is hosted by Yahoo, and the commissioner (whoever decides to start the league) determines the settings and scoring system. It’s a great way to learn the basics of fantasy football, and gives you a vested interest on game day. Even the girliest of housewives develop can develop a basic knowledge of the game and players, and you’d be surprised at how much fun it can actually be. I can’t even explain how sweet victory tasted when the Hawliewood Heroes beat the pants off the Weho Wahoos 2 weeks ago!

2) Plan a football party:

…And don’t forget to invite your girlfriends. Football parties don’t have to be beer-guzzling slob-fests. It is possible to host a chic brunch party (like I did a few weeks ago) for the morning games, complete with mimosas, croissants, and delicious dips. While the men grunt and gasp in front of the TV, you girls can do what you do best- gossip and sip on cocktails. Once things start to get rowdy the afternoon games begin, you can move the party to a nearby sports bar for some lunch and beers.

For your next football party, you MUST try this delicious buffalo chicken dip. My friend Kate first introduced me to this sort of dip, and I have since found several variations of it online. It’s not exactly healthy (though I try by using low and non-fat ingredients), but you can always opt for crisp veggies like carrot sticks and celery instead of chips.  Learn how to make it by clicking here.

Also, here’s my favorite fresh-squeezed lemonade recipe- made with all-natural sweeteners. I love to blend in fresh strawberries when in season, or soak in some yummy flavorings like fresh cucumber, melon, or mint. This is perfect for a morning football party, and those who enjoy the occasional adult beverage, can simply add a shot of vodka. DELISH!!  Click here for the recipe.

3) Support your fav team with sexy ensembles:

Victoria’s Secret has been doing it for a couple years now, and even the Reebok and the NFL have jumped on board! You don’t have to wear your man’s old jersey to support your team anymore (even though I’m still a big fan of the look), because people are catching on to the fact that pro-sports aren’t just for the boys these days. Find the sexy fan look just for you at www.victoriassecret.com or http://www.nflshop.com/category/index.jsp?categoryId=2237412. And just for fun, check out this darling commercial, I just LOVE! That’s so my kind of tailgate!

4) Set some Sexy Stakes:

Talk about “making things interesting”.  After the game clock runs out, and the guests have gone home, it’s the perfect time to cash in on some well-earned rewards, if you know what I mean…hint, hint, wink, wink. I think you can read between the lines here ;-)

The bottom line is- We may never appreciate football as much as the boys, but being a good wife means there will be a give and take from time to time. And let’s be honest, we could all use a few brownie points in our back pocket, just in case. That’s all for now!